Diary of Fawn Anthross

[JanaeClaire♥]

Dearest Diary . . .

I met a boy today.

I feel like I've made a big mistake. I don't know if I can handle it.

I love Pheonix. I really, really do. I could never imagine life without him and his beautiful eyes and his embrace and the way he treats me like the most beautiful girl alive. I've been with him for three years, and I've never felt so connected to anyone before. He's the one who was there for me when my dad died. The one who was there for me when my first horse died. When my cat ran away. When I felt like the whole world was coming down around me. Even when i was into all that bad stuff. He's never left me, even when I've messed up so many times. I love him so much.

But I'm messing up. Again.

I was out riding today, and he was riding his horse. He loves horses, just like I do. Pheonix doesn't mind the horses, but he doesn't love them. This guy trained his horse. But that's besides the point. I should have just ridden away. Waved to him and kept going, but stupid me, always nice and sociable, I rode to him. I introduced myself.

His name is Seth Edwards.

Even thinking about his now gives me chills. He has the most beautiful, captivating and chilling brown eyes. His hair is the deepest shade of black I've ever seen. He's muscular. Really muscular. And that smile? Gosh it made me melt. His laugh was like the best music I've ever heard. And the way he talked to me made me feel like I was on the top of the world. He made me feel the way i felt when I first fell in love with Pheonix.

Yeah, I know it's way too soon to think that i could fall for him... but you should have seen us today. I had the time of my life with him, and it felt like I had known him for years already. Is it wrong that I trust him already? Or that I gave him my number? And my address? Or that I agreed to see him again? I already can't wait until the next time we see each other. I mean, he was so frustrating a few times today, but it was all laughed off.

But that's all so bad. I feel like I'm betraying Pheonix... and I think I am. I love Pheonix, and he's so perfect for me. He does everything right, and Ryan loves him. He's a good kid that never does anything wrong. Sure, some mischief now and then... and he never swears around me. Never. Seth, on the other hand? He's a trouble-maker. He gets detentions and he swears at teachers and gets in fights and swears all the time and he's the exact kind of guy that Ryan would loath me dating. And yet... I'm finding him irristable.

What am I supposed to do? Seth and Pheonix are like night and day, and I'm finding them both so amazing. I can't just forget Seth, either. I can't get him out of my head. And then there's Pheonix. How could I ever forget Pheonix? Or even be without him?

I just keep thinking of Seth though, and the way he made me laugh harder than I have in a long time. And how gentle he was with me, and how amazing he was with Combat... I can feel myself blushing just thinking about how his face would light up every time he laughed.

What do I do?

Fawn ♥

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P.S. Seth said he thinks I'm beautiful. And not just in appearance. I already know I'm pretty... but he think I'm beautiful. Can you believe that? He really thinks I'm beautiful on the inside.[/blockquote]