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Post by Siren Lucas Torres on Jan 10, 2011 21:07:28 GMT -5
I'm Mary Blake Everest. I go by Blake. I'm currently in a car with a man I haven't seen in twelve years. His mother is dead. I know I have to comfort him, but I can't think of how. This is my old friend, Ian. He looks like he's going to break. And...I left my shopping bags in the collapsing beach house. My head pounded with the steady beat of my heart as the news began to sink in. The woman had been so innocent and small looking when I had first met her, and I barely knew anything about her. I did have my memories though. I had taken a cookie from her hand and our skin had brushed. Ian's mom. Now she was dead.
I resisted the urge to gasp so that I wouldn't break this sad spell he was suddenly under, but I silently vowed to myself to never wish for rape or kidnapping again. If this was what someone looked like when they had lost a loved one, than I never wanted to see my parents with this look on their faces.
Ian's eyes looked like empty voids that you could just gaze through like a window. Completely barren of any emotion, but hiding a whole world of stories and place within there depths. I wanted more than anything to get to know where they lead. I wanted to know where Ian had been and what he had done. But first, I had to deal with what was right in front of me; a heartbroken man waiting for a response.
I didn't know exactly how to reply without messing things up, but he didn't look like he wanted to explain anything. So instead of asking or even addressing the death itself, I simply murmered,"Are you thinking of the cookie in the sandbox too?"
Then I gave him a teary smile and launched myself into his arms like we embraced like this every day of our lives. It certainly felt that way.
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allison nicole moore
Settled
Someone called me fearless. I smiled, but my eyes hid the truth. I'm not fearless at all.
Posts: 144
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Post by allison nicole moore on Jan 10, 2011 21:34:12 GMT -5
When the doctors told me my mother was dying, I was numb. I didn't speak for days. And when I finally did speak, it was an urgent whisper in dim hallways to the hospital late-night nurses. Is she all right? Will she be okay? But I already knew the answer. It was the same every time.
They predicted her to be dead within a month. She held on to another twenty three days, four hours, and thirty two minutes. I held her hand, fading with its familiar warmth, as she died. She's fading, I told myself. I won't get to say goodbye. And I didn't. She was still asleep.
"Are you thinking of the cookie in the sandbox too?"
I look at her, catching a glimpse of her smile and shining eyes. I nearly have time to let out a small laugh before she's in my arms again. Her hair brushes my face and her arms wrap warmly around my neck. It's the first time I've laughed in two months.
At first, my body and mind are slow to react, slow to catch up with reality. I register the laugh first, and then her body against mine. I stretch my arms out across her waist and back and hold her close. I never wanted to let go.
A shuddering gasp escapes my throat and I clutch onto the back of her shirt, fistfuls of clothing, and tighten my hold on her. I will not cry.
I swallow and press my eyes into her shoulder before pulling back a bit, searching for her eyes. I am determined to be happy. I want to allow myself at least one day to be happy, for Mary. Delicately, I take hold of her face in my hands. "Now would you mind telling me why it didn't register in your brain earlier that there is a storm?" I tease her.
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Post by Siren Lucas Torres on Jan 15, 2011 20:43:02 GMT -5
Each morning I wake up, before I put on my make-up, I say a little prayer for you. I had the decency to blush when the topic of my mid-storm adventure came up again. I wanted to distract Ian from it so I wouldn't have to admit anything, but I was already hugging him and getting him to laugh and cry. There wasn't much more a girl, who was practically a stranger, could do at this point.
Plus, I was worried that any sort of further avoidance would just turn the conversation back to his mother, and I could tell that he didn't want that. This was the day when years of listening to her cousin's compulsive lying would come in handy.
"I knew that the weather was going to be bad, but I thought that it would just be a bit windy and rainy. I thought that the beach would be empty, which it was aside from you, and that I could get home quicker from there so that my shopping bags didn't get wet."
It wasn't exactly a lie...it just wasn't entirely truthful either. I really had walked to the mall to get the wedding gifts, so I had no car, and I had known that the beach would probably be deserted. The catch was that I had actually been hoping for someone else to be there; someone not quite so safe. Not that anyone would ever guess that. Especially someone that she hadn't seen in ages.
Still, it was much better to be safe than sorry. So I buried my face in his neck again, comforted at the way it felt almost like family, and mumbled,"Drive me home?"
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allison nicole moore
Settled
Someone called me fearless. I smiled, but my eyes hid the truth. I'm not fearless at all.
Posts: 144
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Post by allison nicole moore on Jan 15, 2011 21:03:29 GMT -5
ooc;; what if he had a girlfriend? i know it wouldn't fit in really because earlier it was saying he had the urge to kiss her. i think. i said that, right? well, pretend to omit that part. xD
"You walked?" I exclaim, my eyebrows sky-rocketing. Okay, so sticking to the original plan isn't going to work. She didn't have a car. Drive me home?" She whispers. Her fingers tickle my chest, and her breathing is hot on my neck.
Tory.
Suddenly uncomfortable, I shift, and push her back into the passenger seat. "All right," I say. "Buckle your seat belt, then, unless you want some more near-death experiences."
With the rain still raging on the roads, I drive slowly down the highway. There is no other cars on the road. We are completely alone. That's when I notice the gas tank.
I groan out loud. "We're almost out of gas," There is maybe enough to reach the nearest hotel, but we are still five miles out from any gas station or my apartment. I check my watch. My date with Tory. I'll have to cancel.
As soon as the hotel comes into sight, I take the left, just as the engine sputters. We roll, the car dead, into an empty parking space. "Just great," I curse. This has been a horrible day.
"Sorry," I mutter to Mary. She probably isn't liking this any more than I am.
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Post by Siren Lucas Torres on Jan 15, 2011 22:07:21 GMT -5
Sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water. And I think of all the things, what you're doing, and in my head I paint a picture. The look Ian gives me when I ask for a ride is not what I expected. Confused? Happy? Relieved? Upset? Even angry is an emotion I would have been able to picture on his face, but never fear. I mean sure, I had just seen him clinging to a broken stairwell with his life in my pathetic hands, so I knew that he was capable of getting scared. It was the same face he had made when we were little kids and I fell of the swingset except much more magnified.
But the look in his eyes now as I slide away from him to buckle my seatbelt is one of an a nervous and almost guily fear. Was there something wrong with driving me home? Or was it about the hug? I had no way of knowing as he cut into my train of thought by telling me to brace myself for a bumpy ride.
And then we were driving and I was watching the infuriated waves of the ocean abuse the pebbly sand in his rear window. The images slowly shrank and melted away until I was forced to look at something else.
So my gaze latched onto a little blinking red light behind Ian's steering wheel. It was labeled with an 'E'. Empty. My forehead creased in disbelief, and I could see the same hesitance on my friend's features. But he knew as well as I did that we couldn't just sit in the rode, so he made a quick decision and landed us in the parking lot of a hotel. My heart fluttered uncomfortably at the new location. Why did this always happen to the good people?
I suddenly didn't understand why I was feeling so nervous about all of this. Getting a room together would be the perfect chance for us to catch up! Surely he hadn't been planning on just taking me home and then disappearing from all maps everywhere again, right? I smiled and put my hand on the car door handle, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Why do you look so spooked? It won't take too long to find someone to get us gas, you know. Are you afraid of hotel rooms or something?" I tagged a little giggle onto my last sentence teasingly, but I could feel the bile rise in my throat as I did. Aw crap, his mom hadn't died in a hotel had she?!
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allison nicole moore
Settled
Someone called me fearless. I smiled, but my eyes hid the truth. I'm not fearless at all.
Posts: 144
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Post by allison nicole moore on Jan 15, 2011 22:24:37 GMT -5
Warmth. Food. Shelter. The hotel is the only option. I jerk the keys out of the ignition, feeling angry again. I had a phone call to make. But not now. I climb out of the car, wait for Mary, and go inside.
When we approach the desk, a petite woman looks up and immediately hands us the keys. I glance at the number, feeling my stomach twist. The last time I'd been here, I had the same room. I'm not a virgin. "Seventy dollars for one night." She says, almost indifferently. But I know what conclusion she's already drawn. My cheeks flame as I hand over my credit card. She swipes, I sign, and we're off to the elevator.
Third floor, room seventeen. I push the door open and let Mary inside. There's one king sized bed. But I already know that. Of course. That's why they rent this room out to couples. We aren't a couple, however.
I throw my useless keys onto a wooden desk and search out the room. I don't know what I am expecting. For it to suddenly be different? No. It is the same one bedroom, one bathroom rent. It's the cheapest, and I'm not in the mood for spending more money.
I glance at Mary. "Well..." I say awkwardly. "I guess we'll just hang out. But I have to make a call first. For the gas." I walk into the bathroom and pull out my cell. The first call I make is for the gas, but the second is for Tory.
"Where are you?" She says, sounding worried. "Are you okay?" I sigh. What would my excuse be? "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry, baby, I just got stuck out in this awful storm. I'm at the hotel, my car is out of gas." She gasps. "I can drive there and bring you some." "No, no. It's fine. I already called for gas to come by in the morning. Besides, I don't think it's safe... Sorry, we'll have to cancel." I know what she's thinking. It's our anniversary. Five months. But she doesn't say anything. "All right." She's uncertain. "I love you." "I love you, too."
Click.
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Post by Siren Lucas Torres on Jan 20, 2011 19:26:33 GMT -5
It's not that you're not beautiful, you're just not beautiful to me.I was not stupid enough to think that we would convince anyone with our "just friends" act if we were checking into a hotel in the middle of nowhere for just one night. I could handle the ridicule in that situation, because I knew the real truth and wasn't going to be put to shame about it. What I was not mentally prepared for, however, was the actual room.
The first goal that formed in my head on the elevator was to find the room, say a thank you to Ian, and crash on a bed. Ok...so more like three goals, but I was mostly aiming for the third. When the door opened though, I was left standing side-by-side with a childhood playmate in front of a king-sized bed. One king-sized bed, to be precise. And the bedspread was not-so-casually decorated with little birds and hearts. I made the immediate decision to nap on the floor so long as I did not have to touch that repulsive blanket.
Ian excused himself to call for gas, and I didn't think twice about it. We hadn't brought anything with us, and we didn't have any plans until the gas got here, so I pulled out my own phone and perched myself idly in a little chair by the window to make my own call. With a very unlady like gesture, I groaned and kicked my feet at the blank screen in front of me. Waterlogged; broken. That was just the cherry on top.
I thought about using a hotel phone to contact someone, but I couldn't think of anyone that it would be absolutely necessary to talk to. Sure, my mom and dad would be excited to hear about Ian and scared about that storm, but they didn't expect me home soon anyway, so I wouldn't be missed.
I chewed the inside of my cheek in boredome and gave a wary eyebrow raise to the TV. It was also decorated in frilly heart and bird patterns and figurines, and I didn't want to turn it on and find that it was already on a porn channel or something. This room was really giving me the creeps.
So I stood up and walked to the balcony, not caring about the wind and slight rain, to hum a little tune out in the open air. I was never the indoor type anyway. The soft, tuttering tune of I Just Can't Wait To Be King melted into the chilly breeze as I happily bounced against the railing to the melody. Ian was taking a lot longer than I had thought he would, and I was getting worried...
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allison nicole moore
Settled
Someone called me fearless. I smiled, but my eyes hid the truth. I'm not fearless at all.
Posts: 144
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Post by allison nicole moore on Jan 20, 2011 20:14:19 GMT -5
Panic stops my heart as soon as I step outside the bathroom. She's gone! I slam the bathroom door behind me and run to the end of the bed. Fluttering fabric catches my attention, and I turn to see her leaning over the railing. I have the urge to go up behind her and slide my hands over her waist, roving over her flat stomach.
I swallow and blink. I am crazy, I conclude. I'm just a guy with normal, attraction feelings. It's just hormones. I let Tory flood my senses. Her soft voice, whispering hair, and bright, bright eyes. Her little hands. The freckle by her left eye. I ache for her.
"Mary," I say, clasping her forearm. "Careful. Don't fall." My skin prickles, the hair rising, with goosebumps. I try to rub some warmth into my bones and walk back inside with Mary. I glance at the couch, run my fingers through my dirty blonde hair, and sigh. "I'm sorry, Mary. This room is the cheapest, and I already have to pay for gas." I pause. "I'll take the couch, you can have the bed."
I shiver again, thinking how much warmer it'd be with Mary snuggled up in the crook of my neck, hot breath leaving perspiration on my skin. I roll my shoulders, stretch, and walk over to the couch, putting as much distance between Mary and I as possible.
Her mature body is doing my senses no good.
"It's been... what? Twelve years? What happened, Mary? Where did you run off to?" I can't stop saying her name. Mary, Mary, Mary... Tendrils of memories tickle my mind, push and tease. Then they cut off. That's when she must've left.
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Post by Siren Lucas Torres on Jan 20, 2011 20:59:12 GMT -5
I could be brown. I could be blue. I could be violet sky. I could be hurtful. I could be purple. I could be anything you like. Gotta be green. Gotta be mean. Gotta be everything more. Why do you like me, why don't you like me? Why don't you walk out the door?I feel a temper tantrum coming on at being dragged inside combined with the babying combined with the one too many "Mary's", but I knew what my therapist would say. That I was always too melodramatic and that I had to keep my emotions in check, or something extremely educated like that. So instead of answering right away, I took a deep breath through my nose and sad down at the foot of the bed. My butt was like a lead weight, and I sank right into the mattress and its ugly, themed bedspread.
"Urm, how about no? You've done enough for me so far, and you paid for the room. I'll sleep on the couch because I really want a nap and these tacky blankets with keep me awake."
I didn't mention one of the reasons why they made me feel so awkward, but I was sure I didn't need to. He probably felt the weirdness too. I almost wanted to reach out and bring him over to curl up with me on the bed where we could sleep together, but my intentions would no doubt be misread.
I had been feeling kind of hopeful up to this point that maybe Ian was attracted to me, and the thought was more than a bit flattering, but ever since we arrived at the hotel, he had been distant and vague. Either way, I would gladly accept him as the friend he had been. Brothers and sisters slept in the same bed sometimes too, right? Why couldn't that be us anymore? We were as close to siblings as we could get. Or we had been.
"And first of all, stop calling me Mary! Geez, you know I like to be called Blake! Or at least Mae." I stuck my tongue out at him like I used to do, not even considering for a second that it would look childish. "As for where I went...well I just moved, Ian. It happens sometimes, you know? When things get tough, the tough get going."
I realized I wasn't entirely telling the truth, but I hadn't told the complete truth earlier in the car either, so I was starting to ignore the guilt. We had moved though. And so had he. And now we were here. The question was where were we going?
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allison nicole moore
Settled
Someone called me fearless. I smiled, but my eyes hid the truth. I'm not fearless at all.
Posts: 144
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Post by allison nicole moore on Jan 20, 2011 21:22:25 GMT -5
"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane." - Looking For Alaska by John Green.
It was the most I've ever heard her speak in the time that we'd been together today. Blake, right. I'd forgotten. Or had I called her Mary back then? No, it was just a joke. I called her Mary all the same, though.
"Blake." It feels a little foreign on my lips, out of practice. But it sounds just the same, rolling off my tongue just as easily. An image flashes in my mind - my tongue sliding over her teeth.
I sit down on the couch, only to be displeased. The couch is as hard as a rock, and the material is itchy. At first, I consider continuing the role of the gentleman, insisting she takes the bed, as hideous as it may be. But, with a smirk, I stand and gesture to the couch.
"All right. Go ahead." I walk over to the bed and slide into it, reclining back with my head in my hands. I study her silently, her expressions, her graceful limbs. I find myself almost hoping that she would scurry back to the bed, repelled by the nature of the couch.
Tory. What would she think? Even thinking and coveting about Ma-- Blake is cheating... Right? At least, it seems so. Immoral and disloyal. I rub my temples, feeling an ache in my bones.
Mary is just my best friend, isn't she? Just like a brother and a sister. It wouldn't be so wrong if she slept next to me.
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